Two weeks on, a lot of progressive people in Britain are still in deep shock or fury or despair – or alternating rapidly between all three emotional states. A full 51.9% of British people voted to Leave the European Union (Brexit), and 48.1% voted to Remain in the EU. It was 17.4 million votes to 16.1 million. […]
class cultures
Poor Little “Not-So-Rich” Girls
It wasn’t until I began to write about class from the perspective of the 19th century women about whom I’ve written two biographies that I realized how much issues of class lie at the heart of my attraction to these women. Class Action asked me to explore the constraints that even upper class white women […]
Can’t Buy Me Love
Being Poor in a Cross-Class Relationship We had just turned 18. We had just started dating after two years of friendship. We had just walked into one of my worst nightmares: Which friggin’ fork do I use first?!? My boyfriend was wealthy, and I was poor. It normally didn’t affect our relationship very much, because […]
It’s Not What You Say, but How?
Using Language as a Weapon of Classism A British friend of mine, who met and married his American wife in London, told me that he dreaded attending her job-related social functions in “The Square Mile.” As a bank executive, her coworkers were mostly upper middle-class, and they, along with banking and corporate elites, attended these […]
Language Matters, Too
My brother, sister and I were all brought up to speak a very clear, accent-less English with good grammar and syntax. We were not “perfect,” but we were obliged to try. Our mother harassed us constantly about the way we talked. And she stressed that we would never be able to get a job or […]
Oh No He Didn’t!
Check biased behavior before it keeps your holidays from being merry and bright. As I thought last week about Thanksgiving dinner and hosting my extended family, it dawned on me that I should also think about – and be prepared for – the many ways that the dinner conversation could take an unpleasant turn. The […]
Visiting the Relatives: A Worthy Vacation
My nephew Christopher loaded his three kids and his partner Sam’s three kids into their 2004 passenger van and drove the 300 miles out of the city to visit me last week. He took Thursday afternoon and all day Friday without pay, which gave the family three-and-a-half days in total. This was their summer vacation. […]
A Hard Lesson about Free Money
“Congratulations, you have been awarded a scholarship by your high school foundation. You are invited to attend awards night and be recognized for your achievement,” the letter said. My daughter had applied to several hundred scholarships, four through her highly-ranked, public high school’s parent & legacy foundation. She received one scholarship from a community group […]
On Being an Other
“I don’t want to sound stupid or anything,” said my aunt as she made a remark about the weather being cold, but not as cold as in Massachusetts. I noticed how she quickly grazed her eyes in my direction before letting them drop when our eyes met. Lately, I felt as though many of my […]
When Love Crosses Class Lines
What’s it like to be married to someone who grew up in a different class? If you asked most of the 64 college-educated adults who I interviewed who did so, they would tell you that it was like being married to anyone else. Most said that they loved their partner deeply, and, like all couples, […]
Is That What They Would Say?: Home Knowledge vs. School Knowledge
Two incidents from my school years illustrate the clash between home experience and school assumptions. In second grade, I was drawing in my Alice and Jerry book, a lovely book about the foreign country of the middle class where kids got surprise playhouses for their birthdays— built, painted, and transported by Dad and Grandpa who’d […]
Gifts and the American Dream
As I’ve struggled with the incredible pressure of the season to buy in order to prove our love and our worth, I’ve been helped by considering how gift-giving is shaped by people’s relationship to the American Dream. For those who are just too poor to even engage with the Dream, they may not buy much […]
“Tell me more about your social class”
It was a long time ago. The first time that I strongly expressed my opinion about how human behavior varies depending on social class was in a job interview at a car manufacturer in the marketing department. I vividly recall suggesting that the company’s advertisements reflect upper-middle class father figure stereotypes. You know the type, […]
Demolition Derby
I remember my first demolition derby, years ago as a young parent. It was the thrill of illicit activity that drew me there. My parents—middle class academic types with progressive values—would never have dreamed of lending their support to such an uncouth spectacle; their disapproval would have been unconditional. A theme of my adult life […]
A surprising class culture pattern
When I was studying 25 social justice groups for Missing Class, one of my biggest surprises was a class category I hadn’t even thought to look for: lower professionals. Activists of that class had such unique ways of speaking, participating, and especially dealing with conflict that they had a notable impact on their groups. By […]
Gentrification and My New Old Neighborhood
In 1999 my classrooms in Somerville, Massachusetts– a culturally diverse city bordering Boston– were mosaics of colors and cultures, with students from as far away as Tibet to students whose families had lived in town since the Revolutionary War. Today in Somerville, hipsters are the name and gentrification is the game. In ’99, my neighborhood […]
When Love Crosses Class Lines
What’s it like to be married to someone who grew up in a different class? If you asked most of the 64 college-educated adults who I interviewed who did so, they would tell you that it was like being married to anyone else. Most said that they loved their partner deeply, and, like all couples, […]
Psychiatry and the Imposition of Upper Middle Class Values
Psychiatrists do not have objective tests to confirm their diagnoses. They are often imposing Upper Middle Class values on their patients and then calling it “scientific” diagnosis. The National Institutes of Health in May of 2013 declared the methods of American Psychiatry as “lacking in validity” and that “patients deserve better”. Their key criticism was they have […]
Lessons from a Class Straddler: Upward Mobility in Literature
Are you a straddler like me? According to Alfred Lubrano’s Limbo: Blue-Collar Roots, White-Collar Dreams, a straddler is a person who was reared in a working class background but now enjoys a middle-class standard of living. Whether you are a straddler or not, you have come across one, more than likely, either in real life, […]
The Price of Passing
Recently, a community college newspaper offered a fashion profile of several students. I was amazed and alarmed to learn that, if they were telling the truth, they were spending $200-plus on a pair of shoes and the same for a handbag. It’s true that the recent economic downturn has sent middle and upper middle class […]
